Two Wolves Story: Cultivating Positive Emotions

A Native American elder shares profound wisdom with his grandson about the internal struggle we all face:

"There are two wolves battling inside us. One represents anger, envy, regret, and arrogance. The other embodies joy, peace, love, and compassion. Which wolf wins? The one you feed."

This powerful story illustrates a core principle of neuroplasticity and emotional regulation: Our repeated thoughts and behaviors shape our brain's wiring and emotional patterns.

4 Common Obstacles to Positive Emotions (And How Mindfulness Helps)

1. Self-Limiting Beliefs

Many people believe:
- "I can't change my natural temperament"
- "I'll never be as compassionate as [idealized figure]"

Mindfulness solution: Recognize that brain plasticity allows real change. Consistent practice can reshape neural pathways.

2. Comfort in Chaos

When anxiety or depression feel familiar:
- Positive states may seem unnatural
- The nervous system resists change

Mindfulness tool: Use the RAIN technique (Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Nurture) to welcome positive emotions.

3. Fleeting Positive States

If joy feels temporary:
- Mindfully savor positive moments
- Notice physical sensations of happiness
- Gradually build "positive emotion muscles"

4. Over-Attachment to Happiness

As William Blake wrote:

"He who binds to himself a Joy/Doth the wingéd life destroy"

Mindfulness approach: Practice non-attachment - appreciate emotions without clinging.

3 Science-Backed Ways to Cultivate Equanimity

Equanimity (emotional balance under stress) can be developed through:

1. Cognitive Reframing

   • Remind yourself: "This difficulty is temporary"
   • Ask: "Will this matter in 5 years?"

2. Meditation Practice

   • Train the mind to observe all experiences (pleasant/unpleasant) with equal calm

3. Equanimity Phrases

   • Repeat mantras like:
     • "Things are as they are"
     • "May I accept this moment"

Key Takeaways

• Our repeated mental patterns shape our emotional landscape (neuroplasticity)
• Mindfulness helps overcome obstacles to positive emotions
• Equanimity is a trainable skill for emotional resilience

Excerpted from FULLY PRESENT: The Science, Art, and Practice of Mindfulness