Melissa Sutor: From Tech to Mindfulness & Healing

Melissa Sutor’s life is a testament to resilience, reinvention, and the power of mindfulness. Born in rural Alabama to a teenage single mother, she became the first in her family to graduate college. After earning advanced degrees in computer science and counseling psychology, she founded the Dragonfly Healing Center in Maui, where she teaches Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and leads retreats for women in tech.

Early Life & Roots of Mindfulness

Q: How did your childhood in Alabama shape your mindfulness practice?

Melissa reflects on her grandmother’s influence:

• Attentive listening: Sitting on the porch, observing nature with her sister and grandmother, she unknowingly practiced mindfulness.
• Daily gratitude: Her grandmother’s morning ritual of thanking God for each day, regardless of circumstances, instilled a lifelong appreciation for gratitude.

Breaking Free from Fear-Based Beliefs

Q: What led you away from traditional religion toward mindfulness?

• Fear-based upbringing: Messages like “Go to church or the devil’s going to get you” created anxiety and disempowerment.
• Awakening in a hospital: Accompanying her sister to cancer treatments exposed her to diverse beliefs, fostering curiosity about spirituality beyond her Southern Baptist roots.

From Academia to Silicon Valley Burnout

After excelling in computer science at Notre Dame, Melissa faced:

• Isolation and bias: Assumptions that she was an athlete, not an engineer, wore her down.
• Tech industry disillusionment: A windowless cubicle at Lockheed Martin left her spiritually drained.

A Transformative Year of Travel

Melissa and her then-husband embarked on an 8-month global journey, which continued solo after their divorce. Highlights included:

• Connecting with locals in Southeast Asia, India, and Egypt.
• Living in the present moment, free from societal expectations.

The Breaking Point: A Wake-Up Call

Returning to tech, Melissa witnessed the toll of corporate culture:

• A colleague’s fatal heart attack after being pressured to work from the hospital.
• Her own burnout, leading her to leave the industry and move to Hawaii.

Founding the Dragonfly Healing Center

Today, Melissa blends her tech background with mindfulness, offering:

• MBSR classes and women’s retreats.
• Corporate wellness consulting, helping professionals integrate balance.

Creating a Happiness Plan

Melissa’s approach to sustainable joy includes:

1. Setting intentions aligned with personal truth.
2. Making conscious choices that prioritize well-being.
3. Advocating for humane work cultures (e.g., shorter workweeks, ample vacation).

Final Thoughts: A Life of Joy

Q: How do you describe your life now?

“Joyful! Off the chart!” Laughter, she says, is a key part of her happiness plan.

---

Key Takeaways:
- Mindfulness can be rooted in simple childhood practices like gratitude and nature observation.
- Corporate burnout is a systemic issue requiring cultural shifts and personal boundaries.
- Radical change is possible, whether through travel, career pivots, or daily mindfulness.