At a mindfulness conference, I had a life-changing encounter with Frank Ostaseski, co-founder of the Zen Hospice Project and a veteran caregiver to the dying. His decades of bedside experience distilled into two piercing questions that reframe how we prioritize life.

The Two Questions That Change Everything

When I asked Frank what matters most at life's end, he answered without hesitation:

"They just want to know: Was I loved? And, did I love well? Love: that’s all that really matters."

These questions became my lens for meaningful living—a tool to cut through daily distractions and reconnect with what’s essential.

Why These Questions Resonate So Deeply

"Was I loved?" triggers visceral memories of connection:
- Family laughter
- Shared inside jokes
- Moments of pure presence
"Did I love well?" measures our capacity for giving:
- Choosing people over tasks
- Being fully present
- Expressing affection openly

A Practical Example: Welding Over Emails

When my son wanted to show me his welding project recently, I nearly said "Later" to finish work. Then Frank’s wisdom flashed through my mind. I chose:

Immediate connection over delayed productivity
Curiosity over routine
Love in action over good intentions

The Takeaway: Love Is Always Now

Mindfulness practices help us recognize these truth:

Happiness isn’t found in achievements alone
Our deepest regrets center on missed chances to love
Every moment offers a choice between distraction and connection

For more transformative insights, explore conversations with Frank Ostaseski, Mirabai Bush, and Rabbi Rami Shapiro on finding true happiness through presence and compassion.

Articles tagged "life-priorities"

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