Why Letting Go of Control Improves Mental Health

The Problem with the Control Mindset in Mental Health

During the pandemic, mental health professionals frequently advised people to "focus on what they can control." But this emphasis on control may do more harm than good. Viruses, emotions, and life circumstances resist true control—and accepting this reality leads to greater peace.

Why Control Is an Illusion

• Viruses can't be controlled: We mitigate spread through science and prevention, but ultimate control is impossible
• Emotions defy restraint: Attempting to control feelings often amplifies anxiety and stress
• Bodily autonomy matters: Over-control leads to ignoring natural needs (hunger, rest, etc.)

"Words are things. They get into your rugs, in your upholstery, in your clothes, and finally into you." — Maya Angelou

The High Cost of the Control Paradigm

Common Control Traps in Daily Life

• "Control your anxiety" (vs. understanding it)
• "Don't lose control" (creates fear of natural emotions)
• Workplace micromanagement
• Suppressing bodily needs

Psychological Impacts

• Increased stress from unrealistic expectations
• Reduced self-trust and bodily awareness
• Perfectionism and shame cycles

Mindfulness: A Healthier Alternative to Control

Core Principles

1. Awareness over restraint: Notice thoughts/feelings without suppression
2. Collaboration over domination: Work with your body and emotions
3. Adaptation over force: Respond flexibly to changing circumstances

"It's not about ruling the world, rather being in the world, caring for it." — Jane Goodall

Practical Shifts

• Replace "control your breath" with "observe your breath"
• Swap "manage emotions" with "befriend emotions"
• Prioritize agency (choice) over control (force)

30-Day Challenge: Life Beyond Control

Try eliminating the word "control" from your vocabulary for one month. Notice:

• How often others use it
• Situations where collaboration or adaptation would work better
• Your stress levels when releasing the control narrative

True resilience comes from presence—not domination. When we stop fighting the uncontrollable, we find unexpected strength.