Mindfulness & Manners: How to Be Less Rude

In this insightful conversation, Mindful Editor-in-Chief Barry Boyce and editor Stephanie Domet explore the surprising connection between mindfulness practice and everyday manners. Discover how being present can transform your social interactions.

The Paradox of Mindfulness Events and Rudeness

Barry observed an ironic phenomenon at mindfulness conferences:
- Attendees interrupting speakers mid-sentence
- People aggressively pitching ideas during quiet moments
- Lack of spatial awareness in crowded spaces

"At mindfulness events, you'd expect more consideration," Barry notes. "But rudeness appears just as prevalent as in regular society."

How Mindfulness Practice Can Lead to Self-Absorption

Common pitfalls in mindfulness practice:
- Over-focusing on self-improvement ("the project of me")
- Becoming oblivious to immediate surroundings
- Developing spiritual ego (comparable to "yoga showiness")

Barry explains: "Mindfulness should help us tune into others, not become more self-involved."

Practical Tips for Mindful Social Interactions

1. Use environmental cues as anchors

   • Door handles as reminders to be present
   • Facial expressions as indicators to adjust behavior

2. Practice the "campsite rule"

   • Leave every interaction better than you found it
   • Be aware of your emotional impact on spaces

3. Develop situational awareness

   • Notice how much physical space you occupy
   • Be conscious of interrupting others' experiences

4. Listen with your whole body

   • Give people your full physical attention
   • Allow natural pauses in conversation

The Elevator Principle: A Metaphor for Mindful Manners

Barry shares a powerful analogy:
"When people crowd elevator doors before letting others exit, it creates chaos. Mindful manners work like a graceful elevator dance - create space, let others move, then enter."

Key Takeaways

• True mindfulness extends beyond self-focus to environmental awareness
• Everyday objects and interactions can serve as mindfulness reminders
• Manners stem from recognizing our impact on shared spaces
• The most mindful people often display effortless grace in interactions

As Barry concludes: "Mindfulness isn't about perfecting yourself - it's about showing up fully for life's interactions with grace and attention."