How to Build Lasting Love Using Brain Science

We all dream of finding a healthy, long-term relationship, but maintaining lasting love proves harder than romantic movies suggest. Neuroscience reveals why - and how to work with your brain's chemistry for relationship success.

Why Falling in Love ≠ Building a Relationship

Biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher's research shows that:

• Early-stage romance activates brain regions linked to craving/obsession
• Decision-making areas temporarily shut down during infatuation
• This explains why people often ignore red flags when "in love"

"People can fall madly in love with somebody who's married or lives across the world, convinced 'we'll work it out,'" Fisher notes.

The Slow Love Solution

Fisher advocates "slow love" - deliberately taking time to:

1. Let initial chemical infatuation fade
2. See your partner clearly
3. Make conscious compatibility assessments

This approach helps reactivate the brain's decision-making capacities for wiser partner selection.

3 Neuroscience-Backed Tips to Sustain Long-Term Love

Fisher identifies three key brain systems for lasting relationships:

1. Maintain Physical Intimacy

• Regular sex boosts testosterone (driving desire)
• Cuddling increases oxytocin (promoting attachment)
• Pro tip: Schedule intimacy if busy schedules interfere

2. Introduce Novel Experiences

New activities stimulate dopamine, which:

• Reignites romantic feelings
• Counters relationship stagnation
• Easy ideas:
  • Cook new recipes together
  • Take different walking routes
  • Try beginner dance classes

3. Prioritize Physical Touch

Simple contact like:

• Hand-holding
• Casual caresses
• Playful touches

...increases oxytocin for deeper emotional bonds.

Balancing Chemistry and Compatibility

While Hollywood glorifies whirlwind romances, sustainable love requires:

✔️ Letting infatuation chemicals settle
✔️ Making conscious compatibility choices
✔️ Maintaining all three brain love systems

By understanding these neurological mechanisms, couples can build relationships that last far beyond the initial spark.