How Accountability Saved My Journalism Career
A journalist shares how embracing accountability after major reporting errors transformed her career and personal growth through therapy and mindfulness.
How Accountability Transformed My Journalism Career
My Costly Reporting Mistakes
At 23, early in my journalism career, I made a series of serious reporting errors:
- Falsely accused an innocent woman of plotting murder in a high-profile trial
- Made frequent factual errors (wrong names, dates, quotes)
- Once misquoted "shoe a horse" as "shoot a horse"
The libel lawsuit that followed could have ended my career with an $11 million demand. Instead of firing me, my editor gave me one final chance with a 3-day suspension and blunt advice: "You're sabotaging yourself."
The Turning Point: Embracing Accountability
Key realizations that changed my trajectory:
1. Stopped making excuses (no more blaming editors, sources, or fatigue)
2. Sought professional help through affordable therapy
3. Learned to "mistrust urgency" - my therapist's mantra
4. Faced my shame about repeated failures
The Power of Slowing Down
My therapy process (1981, pre-mindfulness movement) taught me:
- Childhood patterns made me tune out when stressed
- Running from feelings caused more mistakes
- Accountability required sitting with discomfort
"You've got to slow down to speed up" - The swim coach's advice that mirrored my therapeutic journey
Understanding the Shame Response
Clinical psychologist Mitch Abblett explains:
- Shame originates in primal brain survival mechanisms
- Mindfulness helps transition from shame to productive regret
- Example: Prisoners in The Dhamma Brothers documentary found liberation through sitting with their actions
True Accountability vs. Silicon Valley's "Fail Fast" Culture
| Traditional Accountability | "Fail Fast" Approach |
|---|---|
| Deep, relationship-based | Quick public confessions |
| Systematic change | One-off storytelling |
| Lasting transformation | Temporary catharsis |
Even "Fuckup Nights" founder Leticia Gasca now advocates for mindful failure - understanding consequences and sharing real lessons.
Practical Accountability in Daily Life
How I applied these lessons:
- Parenting: Owning mistakes to model humility (e.g., apologizing for late pickups)
- Work: Building trust through reliable fact-checking
- Relationships: Avoiding defensiveness when challenged
Key Takeaways for Professional Growth
- Accountability requires trusted relationships (with editors, therapists, colleagues)
- Lasting change takes time - no quick fixes
- Mindfulness creates space between impulse and action
- Owning failures builds credibility more than perfect performance
"We're responsible for things, but accountable to people" - Sam Silverstein on the relational nature of accountability
This slow, intentional approach to accountability didn't just save my career - it made me a better journalist, partner, and parent through continuous self-reflection and growth.