Coping with Grief: How to Allow Yourself to Feel

Understanding Grief and Emotional Healing

Losing both parents in quick succession creates a profound emotional impact. The sudden "cry bursts"—where chest tightens and tears flow uncontrollably—are natural expressions of unprocessed grief. These moments remind us that healing isn't linear.

What Are Cry Bursts?

• Sudden, intense crying episodes
• Physical symptoms: tight chest, throat constriction
• Brief but emotionally revealing
• Signals from your subconscious to acknowledge pain

The Power of Allowing Yourself to Feel

Many struggle with the concept of "allowing" emotions, often associating it with permission rather than self-awareness. Through mindfulness, we discover:

Key Realizations About Emotional Allowance

1. Permission comes from within - No external validation needed
2. Awareness creates space - Observe feelings without judgment
3. Discernment matters - Feel emotions without being consumed by them

Practical Mindfulness Techniques for Grief

The 4-7-8 Breathing Method (Recommended by Dr. Ni-Cheng Liang)

1. Inhale quietly for 4 seconds
2. Hold breath for 7 seconds
3. Exhale completely for 8 seconds

Three Ways to Practice Self-Compassion

• Cancel plans guilt-free when needed
• Embrace comfort activities like nostalgic TV
• Journal your thoughts without censorship

The Science Behind Emotional Processing

Research shows that:
- Suppressing emotions increases stress hormones
- Mindful acknowledgment reduces physiological tension
- "Ugly crying" releases stress-relieving endorphins

Moving Forward With Kindness

As poet Yung Pueblo notes, enlightenment isn't required—just willingness to feel lighter. Grief never disappears, but our relationship with it evolves when we:

• Create space for all emotions
• Practice daily mindfulness
• Extend ourselves the same compassion we'd offer others

Further Reading:
- Include Yourself in Your Circle of Care
- How We Find Resilience in Boundless Care
- How We Heal Together